Untitled

zoeysugg:

ive been laughing at this for 12 yearS

(via fightingdrag0n)

(via funneestuff)

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

(via fightingdrag0n)

we-are-all-sherlocked:

inabasket:

the-k-factor:

juicyjacqulyn:

ohsopathos:

inabasket:

Look what I found at the dollar store!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This made my day like you would not believe!

Bless you, you perfect angel

Is this is a figurative illustration of an obese persons discovery of their love for unhealthy foods, and how their excitement and pleasure from such constant indulgence distracts them from realizing their unhealthy lifestyle that ultimately results in their death from heart failure?

Nah man, I just really like chocolate oranges.

Best comeback ever.

(via too-stoned-to-remember)

abandon-hope:

mount-diablo:

baseement:

br000t:

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

^

this is the best thing i’ve ever seen

oh my fuck

(via youboilmymilk)

weallheartonedirection:

Smartest Employee

(via notwastingtimeatall)